Remember everything
by Jessica12
Summary: R/J (AU) - Chilton's annual ball. A dance, a kiss and a truth revealed.


Title: Remember everything  
Author: Jessica  
Email: j_rothen@yahoo.se   
Distribution: Wherever...just let me know where   
Spoilers: None  
Rating: PG  
Feedback: YES please....j_rothen@yahoo.se  
Pairing: Rory/Jess  
Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS. "She walks in beauty"  
by Lord Byron  
Summary: Chilton's annual ball. A dance, a kiss and a truth revealed.  
AUTHORS NOTE: English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar  
mistakes may occur.  
  
"She walks in beauty, like the night  
of cloudless, climes and starry skies,  
And all that's best of dark and bright  
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:  
Thus mellow'd to that tender light  
Which heaven to gaudy days denies."  
  
-----------------------  
Remember everything  
by: Jessica  
-----------------------  
  
I can't remember when I fell.  
The exact moment is blurry to me.  
Maybe it was that first evening.  
When she stood there.  
In the doorway with the light behind her.  
Looking innocent.  
Fragile.  
Or maybe it was that time on the bridge.  
Maybe it was her smile.  
Her blue eyes.  
It was the end of me.  
I don't know how to act around her.  
I'm afraid that she will know.  
Somehow.  
I know that I should tell her.  
But I'm afraid.  
To open my heart again.  
To her.  
Fearing rejection.  
Pain.  
All of those things.  
But I know that I have to stop this somehow.  
I'm slowly falling apart.  
When I can't touch her.  
My hands scream out to touch her.  
Loving her with my eyes.  
All of her.  
My body wants her.  
Feel her.  
Taste her.  
Hold her.  
I have to stop this.  
I have to jump and hope she will catch me.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
A blue dress.  
Hair shining.  
New shoes.  
New dress.  
My heart was racing as I walked through the doors to the Chilton's  
ballroom.  
I stood there for a while, taking everything in.  
I was alone.  
It had been about a month since Dean and I parted.   
I can't say that it hasn't been hard.  
But I'm taking it day by day and it's slowly but surely helping.  
Tonight I will have fun.  
I will dance.  
  
------------------  
  
I had a hard time breathing as I walked the path to her school.  
To the ballroom.  
The annual ball.  
Chilton.  
I had gotten the tux two days ago.  
I hadn't told anyone that I was going.  
I just had to go.  
To tell her.  
To see her.  
I didn't care if it was just for tonight.  
I had to do this.  
Or else I would go insane.  
  
---------------------  
  
I used to dream about things like this.  
Like Cinderella.  
To dance.  
To float around on clouds.  
To be swept of my feet.  
Then I saw him.  
  
------------------  
  
Feeling lost.  
I stood by the door searching for her.  
My heart was racing.  
Nervous.  
Scared.  
Feeling out of place.  
Didn't belong.  
Then our eyes met and I fell.  
  
-----------------  
  
He was standing by the door.  
Dressed in a tux.  
Looking handsome.  
Shining.  
My heart leapt in my chest as he smiled.  
Jess.  
I wondered why he had come.  
But somehow all of that didn't mattered.  
He was here.  
Him.  
Jess.  
I smiled.  
Then I walked towards him.  
  
-------------------  
  
Her smile managed to pierce through all my defensives and  
touched my heart with gold.  
I stumbled.  
She walked towards me.  
Shining.  
Glowing.  
She was perfect.  
Like an angel send from heaven.  
She smiled and said my name.  
My mouth had a hard time forming words.  
"Why are you here?"  
"I wanted to come..."  
A smile.  
My heart trembled in my chest as she reached out and took my hand.  
So small in mine.  
So fragile.  
Our eyes met.  
"I'm glad you came."  
"Me too."  
Her eyes had a little bit of gold in them.  
All I could see was her.  
"Dance with me, Jess."  
My lips formed a yes.  
She led me to the dance floor.  
My legs felt weak.  
My hands trembled as I pulled her closer to me.  
She sighed and placed her head against my shoulder.  
Edwin McCain's "I'll be" played.  
I closed my eyes and let the music take me away.  
  
------------------  
  
He had come.  
For me.  
To dance with me.  
Jess.  
I felt so safe in his arms.  
Like nothing ever could harm me.  
When did this happen?  
When did he break my defensives?  
He is under my skin now.  
Managed to reach my heart.  
I used to be afraid of love.  
I will not fear love.  
I will not fear him.  
Jess.  
He stole my heart somewhere along the way.  
I can't say when it happened.  
Now he occupies my heart.  
Impossible to drive away.  
  
---------------  
  
I bury my nose in her hair.  
Taking her in.  
Allowing me to dream.  
To love.  
To have her.  
I have never felt like this before.  
This alive.  
She feels so small in my arms.  
Like a wind could knock her over.  
But I know her by now.  
Her smile.  
Her laughter.  
Her hands.   
Her eyes.  
I have never wanted someone as much as I want her.  
I need her.  
Want her.  
Everything about her.  
I refuse to give up this fight.  
I will not back away.  
  
--------------------  
  
The sound of his heartbeat calms my down.  
I lift my head and look at him.  
I know every line of his face by now.  
His eyes.  
His hands.  
Everything.  
"Tell me the reason why you came here."  
"I wanted to tell you.."  
The music stopped.  
He didn't let go of me.  
I didn't mind.  
It felt so nice to be held.  
By him.  
I wanted to stay like that forever.  
He broke free from me and took my hand.  
We walked outside.  
The stars filled the sky and took my breath away.  
I sighed.  
"It's beautiful."  
He was standing beside me still holding my hand.  
"Yes, it is."  
  
----------------  
  
I wondered if she knew how beautiful she was.  
So perfect.  
Wonderful.  
Angel.  
I had come here to tell her the truth.  
But my mouth wouldn't move to tell her.  
She turned to me.  
Her eyes were glowing.  
Shining.  
"So what was it you wanted to tell me?"  
Silence followed.  
What if she pushed me away?  
Hate me?  
Reject me?  
I looked in to her eyes, searching for the truth.  
I saw heaven in her eyes.  
Paradise.  
It was time to take a chance.  
To jump into thin air.  
To fall.  
"This...  
Then I kissed her.  
I only meant to taste her.   
Just a moment.  
A single minute.  
But as my lips touched hers a fire was ignited that was so powerful  
that I couldn't hold back.  
I ran my tongue against her lips and parted them.  
Tasting.  
Feeling.  
Searching.  
I pulled her closer.  
Wanting to drown in her.  
Melt.  
She didn't move away.  
Surrendering under me.  
Fell into me.  
As we parted I whispered the truth against her lips and prayed   
she wouldn't move away, not run.  
"I'm in love with you. I love you."  
She didn't move away.  
Didn't move.  
Didn't run.  
She smiled.  
We parted.  
I looked into her eyes and saw love there.  
Friendship.  
Love.  
Beyond my dreams.  
She rested her head against my chest and whispered the words   
I had longed for into the night:  
"I love you."  
Complete.  
Saved.  
From myself.  
From loneliness.  
We parted.  
We smiled.  
I will not hold back.  
Not again.  
Not ever.  
I will give her myself, completely.  
Without hesitation.  
I reached for her.  
  
----------------------  
I have never felt this alive.  
Every part of me, complete.  
He stands before me.  
Loving me with his eyes.  
Him.  
Jess.  
My prince.  
My savior.  
Love can come in so many different shapes and forms.  
I never thought I could find a love this grand.  
A love I used to dream of.  
I will not let him go.  
Never.  
I smiled and took his hand.  
He took my hand and we started to walk.  
  
  
  
-------------------------  
  
  
FEEDBACK____YES PLEASE____j_rothen@yahoo.se 


End file.
